Little Betty ate a pound of aspirin
She got them from the shelf upon the wall
Betty's mommy wasn't there to save her
She didn't hear her little baby call
(Waaah!)

Dead babies can take care of themselves
Dead babies can't take things off the shelf
Well we didn't want you anyway
Lalala-la, lalala-la, la la la

Daddy is an agrophile in Texas
Mommy's on the bar most every night
Little Betty's sleeping in the graveyard
Living there in burgundy and white

Dead babies can take care of themselves
Dead babies can't take things off the shelf
Well we didn't love you anyway
Lalala-la, lalala-la, la la la

Goodbye, Little Betty
Goodbye, Little Betty
So long, Little Betty
So long, Little Betty
Betty, so long

Dead babies can take care of themselves
Dead babies can't take things off the shelf
Well we didn't need you anyway
Lalala-la, lalala-la, la la la

Goodbye, Little Betty

(Order in the court! Order in the court room!
Order! Order in the court! Order!...)